raye ke?

BUSY BUSY BUSY! oh wow i've been complaining for the past few weeks i believe. yes, school is getting busier, tougher, and annoying! lol i just felt like travelling and HAVE FUN out there. aigooo! studying on friday night is even worse, and yet people back home is busy preparing for the eid. nice gituuuuuu!! arghhh! I WANNA GO HOMEEEEE BADLY!!! glad that my family called when i was studying in the library? lol, good timing indeed! been busy back then that i couldnt have time to talk to my mom. difference in time is urrghh, annoying! everyone is home, not everyone coz some siblings have to go to their in laws'. but of course half of us is already 'macam nk pecah rumah'. big family indeed! i even asked my mom what should i cook for the eid? n seriously i jot down the recipe in my BMSC notes.lol. but the best part was when my mom showed me BAJU RAYE that she bought from her so-called Cik Kiah Bandung trip with my aunts and uncles. Seriously baju raye for next year? mak cakap 'adik balek malaysia baru ukur n hantar jahit acording to her new fashion style. haha seriously balek malaysia?! i wish i have that much money to go homeeeeeee! aigoo naseb baek tahan nanges though kne bahan with my own niece since my friends were around.  humm how i MISS THEM  badly right now. homesick gituuuu! :P

ur just not up to my standard, gitu!

malaysians loveeee drama!

arghhh stop pissing me off pls!

coz i'm boiling inside, seriously

when i reach the limit

u wouldnt see me as i am right now

aaarrghhhhh marah hell org yg tak paham bahase ni!!!

damn, i got my own so-called standard, whatver!

ok, that kind of person is not meant for TKC girls!

like seriously, i think none of my PHOENIX sisters can handle that person!

hahah overr gitu!

wow i'm glad that i had a 'girls talk' with a friend that i could actually trust here :)

wallaweyhhh, banyak betol drama dalam hidup ni

All is well iA

org cakap jgn mengeluh, tak baek

oh well i got so many things to say

but maybe i'll just talk about some stuffs

i'm BACK in Saskatoon, a place that I would love to explore more

hidden beauty, indescribable uniqueness n yes beautiful people

so here I am, meeting my awesome Toon hooligans again

i went back for 2months but they feel like it was more than that

'how was ur bf? did u lose weight? how's travelling? etc.

'i see ur awesome pictures'!

the first 2 questions mmg tak bole blah

well i didnt meet my so called bf, but i met my crazyyyy PHOENIX girlfriendsssss

i didnt have a good apetite for some reasons but i ate what i needed to eat

oh n i SWEAT a lot too!

balek malaysia turon 2.5 kg okaaay! gilo

basically the 2 months that i spent wasnt toooo great

time flew so fast eh?

i was a bit disappointed that i didnt get to have 'my own time with mom'

i wanted to travel or at least shopping would do

just like last time

she got other commitments i believe :(

but basically i had a good time with my family n relatives

2 years shouldnt feel like 20 years, hopefully

looking forward to graduate n earn my own money! :)

i had a bad dream a few days ago. something related to my family, a sad one n i even cried badly. n yet, i got a call 2 days ago from Malaysia. mak was admitted to the hospital. only Allah knows how i feel at that time. I was scared to death coz I'm still stuck in Canada if something happens. I was sick that I thought I needed my mom. But I guess mak needs her kids more for the moment. I've been updated by my bro n sys n even my niece about mak's conditions. haish jgnla homesick. All is well iA. yeah keep telling myself to b cool with it or at least act cool about it. get well soon mak! i wish i'm right beside u at this time :(

silence

believe it or not

being silent is somehow the best weapon

the best thing that u can do

whenever u cant take it anymore

i'm a very sensitive person

n seriously i'm not that 'pure' inside

so yeah, it's better to keep it down

i mean not to fight back

coz i seriously agree with the malay idiom

'idiom' ke?

whatever laa

kerana pulut santan binasa

kerana mulut badan binasa

i believe that once i burst,

i may look VERY mean to everyone

n yes people, i really mean it

Jodoh

jodoh dan peretemuan

semua tu di tangan Tuhan

tak usah diingat bende yang lalu

mcm la org tu ingat kat kite

hey u woman!

be STRONG la

no matter how hard it's gonna b

ur gonna make it through

forget the past for real

only then everything's gonna b fine

ratio guys to girls kan dah nk balance

ape nk risau?

ececece

even if it takes yearssssss

jodoh tu takkan ke mana

tak payah dicari-cari

it's not something that i really have to worry about eh

n yes i do believe in Him

He has planned something really GOOD iA :)

:(

this is not the summer that i want

for some reasons

i just cant wait to go back to Canada

maybe i dont belong to this place anymore

or maybe

i'm too sensitive about everything

n even the day i landed

i've already stressed myself out too much

i'll come back again when everything has settled down 

eotteohge?

i managed to 'like' someone again but after i get closer to that someone, (almost everyday jumpe or just online n do crazy stuffs or whatever) i dont feel anything anymore. ouch.not once or twice but couple of times already :( maybe i get bored easily or or they're just not my type! HAHAHA!  n please please please dont show interest in me coz i just hate it. i'd rather live without knowing how others feel about me. being in relationship is a serious matter for me coz i just dont give a sh** in my life! no more drama or whatever u wanna call it coz i cant handle it anymore. i'm happy being single but for some reasons i dont like how i feel right now. i'm not being ignorant or deniable of what's happening around me, but i think i'm just too scared of taking the risk! oh what a chicken! what should i do? *ok study rajin2 pastu habeskan duit JPA* perfect! :D

mcm drama la plak!hehe

i never thought that my 'kampung' yg sgt la kecik where u'll always say 'what a small world' has soooooo many koreans!wow! i'm surprised to see lots of korean  guys came to play soccer with us today.haha! siap bole buat korean team lagi n play against us which is like combination of all continents in the world.ecewah!  rase mcm dlm drama la plak to hear them saying 'chinca' 'hyung' 'biyan' 'kamsahamida' etc etc. oh damn senyum lebar2 je todaaaay :D:D now i cant wait to go to Seoul coz my awesome korean friend made a good plan for us!ooopppa! *ok gedik gile*

just bear with it :(

i dont wanna b an asshole

i dont wanna b selfish

no matter how hard it's gonna be

i just have to bear with it

stop complaining,

coz human beings are just like that

not everyone knows how to appreciate others

i shouldnt expect too much in life

so i'll take this as a challenge

to make me stronger insyaallah :)

 *only if everyone understands me, i dont think i'll hurt this much :( *

hello :) eh salam sounds better i guess

ke hadapan blog yg dicintai. i miss u so much. sorry for 'ditching' u for almost 2 months but i guess i'm back now! my dearie place where i can share whatever i want; for the time being i'm pissed for so much sh** that happened but i know i have to endure it.so pls b with me coz i'll need u in the future when i'm done exams.life's not easy. that's what i keep on telling myself n yeah it's something ugly that turned out to b truth. or maybe i should just use this blog to talk about my future.org cakap look for the future, not the past.hell yeah. past is something that's gonna hurt me more :( goodnite world

Say no to BF!

I know everyone thinks that i wrote this but trust me it wasnt meeeeee!! after having a thorough investigation, i found out that 3 of my frens involved. Omg, they hacked my fb n putting me in a very bad situation coz everyone thinks i'm so desperate!!! it happened on my birthday n everyone could see this stupid status on their home page.come on guys, i'm not that desperadooooo!! Please dont get it wrong, coz i just cant delete the status. i need to explain to everyone that it wasnt me who wrote it n the most important thing is that i hve to b fair to my fren.coz i hacked his fb n telling everyone that he's out of the closet, which simply means he's gay!! LOL.i know it's a bit too much since he's been attacked by his frens like crazy. But unfortunately, i even had worse than that!!! Everyone is making fun of me at school regarding the resume thingy n many people think i'm desperate for bf!! Durrhhh, my main point here, i dont give a damn to have a BF coz i like my single life now.well, i may flirt around, n hang out with any guys that i want but never crossed in my mind to have a serious relationship in the meantime! Of courseeee!! Being single is so much fun, so girlsss out there, SAY NO TO BF!! Suro mak je cari calon laki, ape susah!! Hahaha!

Heart attack!

I didnt expect anything on my birthday n i wasnt in a good mood either.Pee-em-es maybe! But anyhow i tried to give my very best expressions to everyone, so i act as cool as i can. All the wishes on fb n text messages really made my day, i mean according to southern hemisphere.if i'm home, i'll probably celebrate it with my sister n nephew since we have the same birthday. Homesick, feeling so depressed with everything, missing someone that i shouldnt, that's the worse state of emotion that i couldnt handle. I even waited for a call that will never happen again. So i decided to stay in school till very late, feeling anxious of what's gonna happen whn the clock strikes 12.i'm telling everyone that i'm not gonna throw a party n i'm not planning to have a party as well since i'm not in a good mood.so nothing happens at 12 coz i was walking home at that time :((

I opened the door. Assa..(trying to give salam) someone came out from the closet n seriously i swear to god that was the most scariest shock that i ever had! I screamed like crazy n i think i might even hugged my friend right away.but thank god i didnt coz that could b a big scandal in school.haha!shoot, seriously it was a 'HEART ATTACK' of the year, my heart hurts a lot but maybe because of too much shis*** too! Ooppss! n yeah they've actually planned so many things for me.well planned, seriously!! Too much drama, too much cheating so that i wouldnt notice anything. The cheesecake, gifts, food, movie, shisha n we stayed up till 4am. Who cares,it's my birthday!



So yeah that's the only picture that i got on my birthday.too much surprises that i couldnt snap anything.but one thing for sure i'll remember my 21st birthday forever.u guys are awesomeeee!! :))



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my toon town friends are just awesome! :)

reading week is over!! the week is not spent wisely but i had soooooo much fun with my friends here!! having our so called parties maybe every 2 days, doing some crazy stuffs, staying out late that we even had to wait for the first bus in the morning. those days were awesome coz i had crazzyyyyy people around. being in saskatoon isnt a bad choice after all coz i never thought i would meet those people in my life. they're from all over the world so as time passes we manage to learn different cultures n languages. during the break, i didnt travel at all, but only went to Table Mountain for snowboarding. omg, that was the best snowboarding trip so faaarrrr! tho i didnt manage to master the forward carving n the turns, but i'm still happy with my snowboarding skills right now. n i just love my snowboarddd!! hehe.next winter i will aim for Whistler Mountain, the place where they used for winter olympics.

since i only slept for 1 hour 2 days ago, so yesterday i end up sleeping for almost 17 hourssss!! like seriously that was the longest sleep that i ever had in my life!! now i should just go for my new resolution which is not to skip claaassesss at all!! hehe

jgn pertikaikan please!

kalau org kate itu rezeki, bole tak jgn pertikaikan?? dah tuhan nk bagi org tu 2nd chance, terime jela! aarghhh!!! and please, bile bercakap tu tlg fikir org kiri kanan dulu bole tak?? eee,, pissed me off betol!! and as for myself, even though i screwed up ICPU n didn't pass the cut-off point but at least i tried my best when i'm here!! and alhamdulillah because i learn from my mistake, i think i even did better than some people who passed the cut-off point! so what i wanna say here is that, tlg jgn pertikaikan rezeki org laen bole tak? mane la tau org yg x berape nk perform mase pre-university akan perform lagi gempak kaw2 tahap mega tu?? haaa, tuah aym nampak di kaki, tapi tuah manusia siapa yg tau? so fikir-fikirkan la ye!

this is just a thought yg dah lame disimpan. lame dah, dari dulu lagi.tapi today baru nk rase luahkan.ecewaaah!

hello there!

hey hey!i know it's been a while that i didnt update my blog. so many things going on that i just wanted to keep them for myself. oh yeah, it's been a year since the last time my heart broke into pieces. ecewaaah! but hey, i'm such a tough person now!u jerk, out of my way! i got my own life now.busy busy busy! i dont even have time to think about relationship or whatever u wanna call it but I'M SERIOUSLY HAPPY! this term would be more organized i guess. less time to go for shopping, more time for other activities. being hi-comm for MASA, BSA and joining Horticulture club is enough for the responsibilities part. i'm extremely satisfied with my so-called 'reducing stress' plans right now

working out at the gym, put more weight for the weightlifting part,

running at the track,increase # of laps per week

finish all the tracks for wall climbing as for now i've reached 4/6 tops (faster than what i was expecting)

halaqah every friday and later riadhah with the sisters

badminton for some fridays

yoga for at least once in fortnight to b more flexible. hehe

swimming class is still in consideration

squash when there's more time

more snowboarding trips when i get hired (no money no snowboarding)

futsal every thursday and if we get to the play-off i'll b more than happy

but being the champion for this term is even better :)

and not to forget, IMPROVE MY CLASS ATTENDANCE AND BE ON TIME!!

revision for any exams/midterms or whatever has to be done for at least one week before!!

aarrghhh!!n for those who may concern, I CANT STAND CRYING BABIES ANYMORE!!! do u know that i'm so pissed off to have that kind off ppl in my life?? screw them!! come on, i learn how to survive tooo!! and please please please do improve yourself!! ah kau! kalau anak bongsu takpe jugak nk mengade lebih2. haiyak! i always at the receiving end, so dont expect much from me! sorry nk emo kejap. hehe

'awesome' people

They're awesome coz they

 make me smile with a single word

wake me up when i'm 'sleeping'

comfort me when i'm uneasy

wipe my tears when i'm crying

and

...

...

.......

..........

broke my heart till i cant even forgive

and i learn not to love someone wholeheartedly, not even friends, and a special someone

coz trust is not to be betrayed, but to be grasped till the end

to get along with me is easy, but once i get annoyed, dont even think to get my trust coz life is not easy

u should know that and so do i

coz ure one of a kind

To love someone is HARD, but to forget someone that u loved is HARDer.things happened, n u even think that life is so unfair.but at the end of the day, u'll think that God loves u for showing u the right path. to think positive is EASY, but to think negative is EASIER."Life sucks, jiwe kacau". that will be a spontaneous reaction, but what favours the spontaneity?? maybe i should 'muhasabah diri' n think what n where i went wrong. it must be something, n somewhere along the road. the road that i feel like giving up to go through.hmmm.what a life! be strong my dear soul! coz i know ure one of a kind.nobody will understand u for real :(

Trick-or-EAT, not trick-or-TREAT

It's halloween but i'm not having culture shock here, to be exact. I've already seen halloween before but only this year i got the chance to experience everything about halloween.not everything, but almost all of them.from pumpkin carving, wearing the costume that is borrowed from a friend, n go around for "trick or eat"!! one thing that i can b proud of is i managed to say NO to all the halloween party invitations which is like 2 or 3.haha.n "trick-or-eat" is not a wrong term that i used coz that's what i did! Go around for non-perishable items, instead of candies coz we're doing it for the food bank! Oh yeah,lots of people post articlessss on fb regarding halloween.to b frank, i dont have the intention to against the hukum, but i just thought what i did is for people who are in need n at the same time i had some fun! We trick to make others to eat!and and i just thought this is the same as what we did during hari raye.go around n visit houses in the neighbourhood n ask for duit raye.pakai baju cantek2, dapat makan, dapat duit.haha. going to the houses n bumped into some kids reminded me of my childhood hari raye.pusing satu kampung, n make sure pocket penuh!lol.after all, i know i'm not yet a good muslimah, but i just dont want people to judge me as a "minah yg dh culture shock habes after dok oversea". Hmm, i do accept advices, but in a good way :)

P/s:jgn sesape terase sudah, coz this is just a thought ye

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C.O.N.F.U.S.E.D

I always know what i want.but now i'm seriously confused!! Walking in this path is not FUN at all if i dont know how to really appreciate people around me. Oh hati, asal la kau SENSITIF sgt!! Ya allah, give me the strength to go through anything that i have to face.amin

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hey awak!

u surprised me, but u really made my raye.

SeLaMaT HaRi RaYe n MaAf ZaHiR BaTiN to u too

thanx for the wish, i appreciate it so much

just so u know i'm happy to get ur text,

but i just dun have the guts to reply.

it's still in me, if u know what i mean.