why do i stalk u??

i stalk ur fb coz i wanna know how are u doing, what are u up to, how is ur new look, who's checking u out, who's the new girl in ur life,how's ur school n everything about u.i checked ur profile every single day coz i dont wanna miss anything about u coz at the end of the day i'll feel bad for not knowing ur current updates. tho all the rumors or so-called scandals are killing me like crazy, i'm still not giving up.maybe one day i'll stop, but for now thre's nothing that i can do.waiting for ur call is like waiting for the rain in the drought.i could've agreed with the "monthly deal" coz one year is too much for me.i feel regret tho.only if u know how much do i miss to talk to u. not calling or texting u at all doesnt mean i've thrown u away frm my life.it's just that i CAN'T n u cant imagine how hard i tried to go through this.i believe that u dun really care about it anymore coz i can see that u're having a gud life now.yes, i'm ur BIG STALKER, but please dun stop me from doing this coz i wanna know what does a relationship mean to u.even at this point, i still have the same feelings towards u.it'll be such a relief if thre's a way out for this.i just wanna fix it, but i know we cant get whatever we want coz we're not the GOD.only Allah can do n get whatever He wants.evryday i'll be hanging out with some friends, doing assgnmnts n have some fun. i'm happy when i'm with them, but when i'm alone i'll start to think about YOU!!i just dunno what should i do coz i dun wanna get rid of u.i know this post makes me sound desperate, again.but it's not a crime to have such feelings, right?ni la hati pompuan.fragile sgt.emo melampau!sket2 nk down, nk cdeyh2..owh crap!!i wanted to go to the riverside today.nk jerit kuat2.but my frens replied my msg a a bit late.klu pegi sorg2 nnt org kate gile plak.aargghhhh!!wtv.sumpah RINDU!!

*a walk to remember*

i was craving for sushi.the last time that i had sushi was during my birthday.so i went to a japanese restaurant in downtown with 3 frens, including "T".owh yeah, we ate n talked a lot, that we spent 2hours in the restaurant. thre's one time that i came out with an idea, whre we have to start using our own language. Rocio n T speak Spanish, while Hang speaks Vietnamese. "ok, how do u guys say let's go??"i couldn't really get the word from Hang, but for spanish, it'll b "bamos"!lbeyh kurang la..but they like our "JOM"!n they can still remember it till now coz it's easy hey.next, how would u say when u're going to give something to someone, like "here" or in malay we just say "NAH!!" owh, this is my favourite coz in vietnamese, they say it as "DIE".sumpah lawak when all of us start to use it.die,, die,, we cant eat the sushi anymore..haha..galak gune that word!!we ate a lot, sgt FULL, smpi xlarat nk jalan.i din even have the energy to carry my bag.xpasal2 T jadi mangse bawak my bag.heh..kekenyangan yg melampau leads to mengantok yg melampau.so we went to Hang's room, to drink coffee.coz after that we have to continue doing assgnmnts n studying. it was maghrib n i din hv much time left to pray.so i had to pray in Hang's room.mak aih, consciousnye nk solat dpn dorunk sume.last time solat dlm kete ok lagi.but seriously i have no choice. i'm glad  that they respect me while i'm praying by not making so much noise.they're a bit curious as well coz it's like my first time praying right in front of them. i wish i can share many things about Islam with them.they're good frens, not the type yg agak wild.even when we're in the restaurant and on the bus, we talked about our religion n cultures.Rocio n T are Catholic but Hang doesnt have any religions. it's good to have frens that can share many info with u n i feel happy too for telling them a lil bit about Islam. that night we were doing assgnmnts in a classroom, till i din realise that i've missed the last bus!oh gosh!!i forgot that it was Sunday, n the bus service stopped earlier than usual.man, how should i go back?i dont wanna walk in the middle of the night alone, coz last time my housemate told me not to walk home from school at night again.but suddenly T offered to walk me home.i was like, WHAT??are u suree??coz it'll b like half an hour walk.but he said it doesnt matter coz he always go for a walk at night n the weather is good as well.n he just din want me to walk home alone. alololo..sweetnyee..cettt!!*jangan caer!!*n yeah,  he walked me home, n we talked about so many things on our way.that reminds me of a walk that i had with someone.it's a walk to remember, that i can't even forget till now.if i were so strong, i would've thrown the memories for like thousands of miles away.it's just that i can't. to b frank, i miss that person badly.. :(((( but back to "T", i think he has the potential to be a muslim. sometimes he used my laptop to check his emails, n he told me that his stepdad always sends him emails about God, n some messages with good lessons. he's quite close with his stepdad.he said that his stepdad will be so happy if he convert. *deep down in my heart, i'll b waaay happy if he becomes a muslim* at least his stepdad influences him by portraying good examples n all, that even make him not to smoke, drink, get involved with wild parties and so forth.ntah la..i just go with the flow.for now, i need to focus on studies.maen2 jugak.lepak2 jugak. alahai..ble la bole byr bil tepon ni..ssh kot nk contact sume org.eh silap, ssh kot org nk reach me.haaha..tbe2 rase rmi peminat.ngahahha.sengal~~ *ni la padah x pandai jimat duit.tp duit habes sbb byk spend on food, xsalah, kn??at least bkn habes sbb njoy x bertempat*

bile dh jumpe satu kepale

seriously, this term byk enjoy.byk hangout, byk maen, byk segala bnde la.klu last term bole kre brape kali turon downtown tp dis term xterkire kot.kawan2 sume best, especially jumpe yg satu pale, yg sporting tahap mega, n jenis pandai balance between maen n studies.i can still remember whn i was struggling with 3classmates, Rocio Luis n Michael for VSEPR lab online assgnmnt.it's a 3-hour assgnmnt n we started doing it at the same time.siap kre, mcm nk lumbe lari plak.but the assgnmnt sgt mencabar jiwe dan rage coz thre are questions of diffrent levels n in order to proceed, evry level has to be perfect.if u happened to get 1out of 25 blanks wrong, u have to restart, but with diffrent questions.perghhh!!gle ah..we're stressed up, smpi mnjerit2 jugak dlm library tu.sgt kecoh kot, smpi org keliling pandang2.library la katekan. but we cooperated n helped each other.i'm super bad at this topic, so i always asked them to check for my answers before submitting.thre's one time i felt like giving up coz i only have one attempt left in order to proceed.sgt rase nk NANGES, but they tried to comfort me.takut, xnk jadi cm michael.balek awal sbb he has used all the 5 attempts.klakar kot.cm maen game je, kalah kne balek awal.pasrah gle kot n i asked Rocio to click on the "grade answer" button n i left to the washroom.huhu.but miracle happened coz i managed to proceed to the nxt level.melompat jugak dekat library tu ha..n we tried our best in the nxt level, but we're not lucky enough to complete evrything in time. seriously that was the worse online assgnmnt that i've done.sgt menguji kesabaran!!grrrr..but the thing is, the assgnmnt only worth 1% n we're struggling like crazy with it!!bagos ke x bagos ni?hermm..n then we went to DQ for ice cream!!ubat tension tu!huhu..n this time Hang joined us.we had a good time thre,sumpah kecoh!haha..ala2 nk release tension..









the next day we're invited by a fren to go to LOUIS for USSU film festival.herm,, LOUIS is not a good place actually.ala2 PUB tp on campus.cuak jugak nk pegi that place for the first time.tp pk sbb nk support my fren punye movie, so i just went.muke cuak, tp kne tolak ngan my fren.perghhh..siyes bau beer!!busuk kott!!tp rupe2nye that place bkn bar semate-mate tp kre restaurant jugak.owh, now i know.*niat kne betul tu*huhu..i had fun watching the muvees by all the participants.creative n innovative sume.but of course i voted for my fren's muvee.for me it was a good muvee, but he din win tho he got the best cheer from the people.pelik jugak!adeyh..

Sempat maen kissing n love game.haha

then we went to DQ again!!haha..mmg tmpat lepak terbaek la.n for sure for ice cream!:))

owh, we had goooooooddd times here.there were 6 of us.rancak berborak, smpi x igt dunie.tmbh lagi melayan my new fren yang mabuk.i thought he's a muslim coz he's from lebanon n name pon ala2 muslim.skali mase kat LOUIS, pegi order beer..naseb baek "T" x minum at all.another good point for him!haha..



Em, back to my fren yg mabuk tu.*not in this pic.tersorok* mak aih..ckp pon dh mcm ape dh.tp nk ckp byk gak tu.siyes lawak!!haha..n then we went to study till midnight..njoy mmg njoy, tp assgnmnt x leh lupe kot!that's y i like mereka2.. :))

one word.RINDU.

rindu mak.n last week borak ngan mak 3-4days berturut-turut :)awesome2..rindu abah.tp asyik xde chance nk borak. :( rindu abang akak sume, n dpt borak wif some of them je during family gathering@bukit jalil.mereka berlagak sbb tgh makan besar, with lauk-pauk yg marvellous, cooked by cheffs terhebat, mak n k.jehan. n mereka berlagak duit bonus maseh byk lagi.em, mereka sume xsabar nk kne PAW tu!xpe, tggu kepulangan adk kesayangan korang!haha.rindu ank2 sdare.mcm2 kerenah can be seen from the webcam.baby umar dh pndi jalan, makin montel, tp maintain putih+jambu. n he smiled at me!ntah kenal lagi ke x.heh.baby Oni dh kuros, makin chomeyl+cantek, tp agak sombong.ciss, nnt asu jugak yg mama korang cari to babysit! Amal still maintain hero hindustan.hnsem lagi.n JAffni??my hero yg maintain gemok+lawak.die merajuk sb xdpt mainan before dat, but when i called him, he came to the laptop.i showed him my iphone, dgn muke belagak, telling him about the games that i have.as usual, *terlopong* budak tu!tros baek from merajuk!!sbb he wanted to berlagak wif me jugak!!durh!we were talking n teasing each other.i know it sounds childish for me, but i just cant help it.jaffni is like my fav ank sdare coz die yg paling lwk!*x pilih kaseh, ok?* die bajet ensem, tp x ensem sgt pon.slalu terlopong n tunjok his lubang hidung yg besar tu!hahah. n then he said, "asu, kte dh KUAT da!!"..ece, belagak!nk cari gaduh la tu!alahai..we used to fight, n he always bully me coz he thinks he's stronger than me..badan byk lemak nk lawan dgn i yg agk tulang, mmg saket laa..adeyh..n i rindu my darling girlfriends, da PHOENIX sisters.happy like hell after dpt borak wif my long-lost badak!lame gle kot x boraaaakkkk!!but still, xpuas.need to have a REAL talk later.n NQ is always thre to hear my inner screams,to jump into my current feelings, n to cry together coz we're at the same point, the weakest one. rindu mereka.those girlfriends that will shre good things, that will make my day a blast one, B, aness, zan, auni, atul,dan mereka sume.but if i  miss them, i could do something to get them.for now i miss someone badly, but thre's nothing that i can do to reach that person. it has been 2 months, but i dont think i'm over him. in one month time, it'll b our supposedly 2nd anni.owh crap!!i'm such a LOSER!!memories, pls dont chase me..or maybe i'm the one who has to forget the memories!!

the weather is good now.tho i'm not in a good mood, but i always try my best to keep myself happy. last weekend, i did nothing much.but went for a walk with my housemate on saturday was a good one!

makin hari makin syg saskatoon :))

n on sunday, somebody borrowed me car..

driving in saskatoon??hell yeahh!

80km/h is gud enough for the first attempt..

naseb baek xde polisssss!!haha

i think he's the one!

i wanted to share this thing earlier, but i dunno why, i went blank when i was about to write it.hermm, dat's ok coz i'm writing it now. it'll b a bit funny coz i just wanna talk about the latin guy that i've mentioned earlier.let's call him as "T". i found him as an intresting one coz each day he makes me to know more about him. that day we were struggling in the chem lab, answering some "stupid" questions, whre the TA also din know how to explain it to us.owh yeah, we were quite unlucky for getting the hardest set of questions.i was so stressed up at dat time, n i kept on complaining. because i was STARVING at dat time!haha.*tbe jeh* after the lab, we were talking about phy asgnmnt n we decided to do it together.but then he asked me to get some food first n he wanted to treat me!erkk, terkejut seyh!obviously segan, n wanted to tolak dat offer, tp teringat  a DARE from my fren bout dis guy!so i just accept it, tho rase segan nk mampos!n he asked me whre i wanna go, either A&W or subway, n i told him thre's nothing that i can get from A&W coz i'm a muslim, so better go to subway!i'm glad that he knows a lil bit about ISLAM coz some of my friends here know nothing about Islam.n at subway, he said that i can get the footlong if i want to coz he knows that i was starving during the lab. ciss, bertambah segan kot!tp sbb lapar nk mampos, i just ordered the footlong tuna.but weird thing happened!i cant even finish it tho i was super hungry.the only person that can make me feel like that is my tuuuuuutt!that person suddenly came into my mind!gosh!!n T told me that he'll b upset if i throw the subway.obviously i didnt!tapaw sudeyh.n when walking back to school, he suddenly told me that his stepdad is a MUSLIM. *tbe2 blur jap. stepdad tu ape eh?coz confuse bapak angkat ke bapak tiri!gle sengal, simple thing pon bole lupe!then trigt cite cinderella with stepsisters.baru la dpt tgkp!*haha.. i was damn surprised, n i asked about his mom!i was so excited to know more!but he said his mom is still a christian n his dad has passed away!alaaaaa...frust gle!!!asl la mak die x convert je??adeyh..no wonder la he knows about muslims.he said his family wont eat pork when his stepdad is around, n they wont eat in front of him during the fasting month.to show their respect. hmmm... now i wanna know more about him! we often hang out together these days, doing asgnmnts together.i found him a bit funny n SWEET!gosh, caer2.thre's one time when we're done with the assgnmnts, he got addicted with the games on my iPhone.haha.n he even gave me his fon n do whatever i want, including reading his inbox..gle sempoi la mamat ni! xde GF rupenye. good point!hak3..but still, one year younger, XMAW la!haish..n we went to wall climbing yesterday. i was climbing but he didnt coz he had to go to work. he was late for work, but he still come just to be my partner for climbing. he just wanted me to have FUN! fun habes la an.i managed to climb halfway jerrr!!too bad!coz i've used up my energy early on by working out at the gym n playing squash..so i had to give up earlier. mase nk turon, he sempat make fun of me. saje nk bagi i jerit when i was up thre.ngeng~~n he said sori for not spending a lot of time for climbing, n he asked me to come with him nxt time. :)) n one thing that i like about him is the way he treats me as a muslim.he seems to know our batas2 pergaulan, whre he doesnt simply touch my hands or something. i feel comfortable to be friend with him.klu nk pegi solat pon, he'll understand if i spend more time.
i've decided to move on, tp kenape eh, when i was with "T", i can still terbayang my "sejarah hitam". cett, hitam la sgt sejarah tu,an??haha..but then, i still think that it's a gud idea if "T" dpt hidayah to convert. he's such a NICE guy. i dont wanna put any hopes on him, but being his friend is good enough for me :)) 
he might be THE ONE who can help me to forget that person, but to have a serious relationship, I DONT THINK SO!!

saskatoon vs saskabush!

i call saskatoon as "kampong" but some of my intrnational frens call it saskabush!but my first winter here proved that saskatoon is such a NICE city!everything depends on how u explore and njoy it. so far, i could tell that my mission for winter is 90% accomplished!!owh yeah, i'm lovinggg it! :)) 2pairs of boots, boxing day shopping, tobogganing, snowboarding, snowfight, skiing, skating, broom ball, n curling. the only thing left is ICE FISHING!! aarrrrgghhhh, i'm sooo going for ice fishing, next winter!i dont care, nk sgt2!!huk3..so, let's summarize them with some picturessssss!!

n now the snow is melting, as the spring as started!!that is when SASKATOON SHINES.. my fren treated me by taking me out n went FLYING..awesome!such a great birthday gift!n somebody treated me in DQ for winning a bet. not really a bet, but actually a dare! n last week, were really having fun with the sunshine.. we went biking around the town, especially the riverside..saskatoon sgt cantik!! yes, my kampung is really nice, with the 7 brideges, n their so called saskatoon berries.whn the summer comes, i'll go to the berries farm, as well as strawberry farm, where we can do strawberry picking.lagi best from cameron highlnds!hehe..there's a lot that u can explore in this small city, n i have 4 years to do it. it's not a busy city, n u can find peace here.

i'm having fun with some sports over here. working out at the gym every week is like a MUST nowadays.n i always have some games to do such as badminton n squash. talking about squash, last week i played with dat "latin guy"!! still remember the one that i mentioned before??!! hahaha..awesomeness!!i have a crush on him!ngahaha..such a nice boy!naseb baek one year younger n non-muslim.kalau x, mmg sangkot habes2 dh..owh yeah, he's such a nice guy!now we're kinda close, as in we always talk or mayb just bump into each other sometimes.hehe.. n one more thing, SOCCER!!org cni pggl soccer, tp actually futsal. can u imagine how does it feel when ur first time of playing turned out to be a real game??man, i was freaking out at first!cuak nk mampos when the captain asked me to play!shaking jugak tgh2 court tu!haha..but i had so much fun hey!!n nxt week, we're going for the play-off! have to win, badly.last time was a draw.wish me luck!

i'm having a hard time with some personal stuffs, but i'm glad that my frens are always there to support me. whn my heart is broken into pieces, thre are friends who helped me to fix it.i've had enough, n it's time for me to move on.it's kholaaaasss!!evryone said so. but i'm not a jerk that will forget all those good memories. but u're such a jerk if u replace me with someone else!!!

when "teen" is over

i never thought that i can i have a great birthday though i'm milessss awaaay from my beloved ones. but things seem to b good when i get to know great friends who used to b strangers. a day before my "big" day, we went out for bowling.man, it's been a whileeee.i never played bowling since i landed in canada.gleeee rinduuu!!!

n then we went "lepaking' at the river side,taking some pics, n freezing in the cold. nevertheless, sunset in saskatoon is awesome!

 

n later we had dinner in Afghan restaurant, whre we laughed a LOT, as if the restaurant is ours! this is all because of Raj, with his crazy experiences when he was in "ragging period" at the university back home!hahaha..man, u 're so FUNNY!!!

  

yes, i had a great time, but at da same time i'm so nervous to wait for the next day..grrrr.. people in malaysia have started sending me messages, with great wishes, but thre's one particular person that i've been waiting for like evry second.i was pretty sure that i wont b having a good clebration like what i had last year, but i'm still hoping for a GOOD one.distance n diffrnce in time din stop me from being appreciated by the beloved ones, n i'm so glad that person called me n made me happy for at least an hour. :)))

it's sux to have a lab on my big day, but my friends here really made my day.i can feel the love in the air..ece

 

my fren got me this ice-cream barbie cake.comel, an?haha

 

my wishes are dot dot dot.erk, i said my wishes loudly in front of my frens which are a bit embarassing!haha

my fren ckp x bole sebut kuat2, nnt x kesampaian..erk,,,alaaaaaaaaa!!xpela, ade rezki, ade la an, ade jodoh ade la..kahkahkah

  

this is where all the continents met, at New Island Sushi! we have people from Europe,Africa, South America n of course, Asia. but NORTH AMERICA is missing??hahaha..xpatot betol!!

 

i had sooo much FUN during my birthday. Thanx to my international frens for the treat n giftsss!Raj got me a bunny, so that i can remember "bunny" hill, instead of barney!haha.n thomas got me medicine for my injuries.they said i really need it because i'm so active here.ye ke??naseb baek ubat sapu, klu ubat mkn, erk xtermakan la jwabnye..huhu..n the girls got me chocholates, n some stuffs from hallmark.n they want to bring me to the mall for shopping!!uhuk3..terharu nyeee..coz i've stopped shopping afta the last wintr break!hehe

n not to forget to my family n frens back home..kakak2 ku, nice pantun yek!to my beloved sister, k.jehan, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to u too..nnt balek kte celebrate on june 1st, instead,ok??n to my frens, thanx for the wishes, i really appreciate them so muuuccchhhhh!!!luv u guys sgt2!!

*xnk 20,tp nk 'teen' lagi. klu sebot twenteen ok x??*